The Final Say...

The final decision has been made. They will not provide us with the financial afidavit based on two reasons :

1) Course offered and course code sama.

2) Dah ada staff yang pegi to that university before.

They still want us to go to NZ. Well..both of us actually dah tak berharap because this morning dapat lagi another reply from one of the universities kat sana yang supervisor dah tak available. kita orang pun dah letih dok menerangkan benda yang sama (masalah nak dapatkan supervisor)...

Another point, as we mentioned earlier cam mana le nak dapatkan course code yang berbeza.. and macam mana le nak fulfil requirement no 2 tu...how many staff yang dianggap ramai..tak de la plak circular cite bab ni...he he...

Conclusion yang dibuat:

1) Nak dapatkan scholar macam kes meminang puteri gunung ledang...syarat syarat yang di imposekan memang dasat...Hang Tuah pun bole confuse...

2) Kami ni hanyalah mentimun...(refer to Karam Singh Waria kalau blurr)

3) Kami dah boring yang amat amat....dgn "kun -fayakun " policy.

4) Jangan ikut arahan...we were informed earlier we have to go by July..and we need to buat all preparations...kami yang menurut perintah telah buat semua arrangement yang perlu including selling all the three cars...sop..sop..sop...(sedihnya)...

5) Pinjam kata-kata Era Fazira "Kami/saya pasrah dengan apa yang terjadi"...

6) Sekiranya ada rezeki kami untuk study..Allah pasti bukakan jalan ....

Nota: anybody ada keta kuda untuk bagi kami pinjam !!!

Licence to Kill...

Kalau lah I ada licence to kill...haaa...there are 3 in my list now.....OR ..how I wish I ada any magic spell ...I nak tukar yang 3 ni jadi PETI AIS...rasanya lebih berfaedah lagi....David Copperfield where are you!!!!!!......

Kring....Kring...Kring..

Selamat Hari Guru! Thank you to those yang sms me especially to all my ex-students. Terasa la gak diri dihargai ..he..he..thanks again.

But ada satu unexpected called ...well..actually I still dok besedih hati about that lousy reason...out of the sudden..I got this called..macam tau je I dok runsing...he..he

To the caller , banyak yang nak cite sebenornya...dalam kepala dah plan nak cite semua..but when I heard all the good news from ur side..I decided not to talk about it...entah le..rasanya that's me always hiding my frustration or may be I really appreciate ur effort and do not want to spoil the conversation...the truth is I am happy with your achievement in life..really am happy. The following song is dedicated to you and thank you for ur "Doa".

Memories
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were..
The way we were...

Pelanduk selalu lupa jerat...Jerat tak lupa pelanduk!!!

I have received a phone call today informing that the "person incharge" refused to provide me with the financial afidavit eventhough my appeal has been endorsed by the Big Boss.. wow! my first reaction of course to ask the big question "WHY"..Failed to get clear explanation from the caller ..I then decided to "discuss" the matter personally with the person incharge . My "niat" during that time was just to get a better or clearer explanation..and to find out in case I have missed something out ...that make the financial afidavit cannot be given to me..that's all!!

To cut the long story short...managed to talk to that person ...but until now I don't understand and I cannot see the rationale of the decision not to provide me with the relevant documents.. The only reason given to me is that my offer letter given by the Australian university stated the same course code as my husband...the most funniest reason on earth!..

Want to know why it becomes the funniest or may be the lousiest reason on earth?Of course we will be offered the same course and course code BECAUSE both of us applying to do our PhD in the same university and in the same department..

Abih nak buat camno...we are in the same faculty here..definitely our application too will be to the same faculty in Australia..even if we apply to any of the local universities pun our application will go through the same faculty and we will get the SAME course code...

I did ask that person few times..is this the real reason or ada masalah lain...but that person insisted that the same course code tu yang masalah....then I asked...what about others yang dah pegi ke that university (to the same department)...of course all of their offer letters stated the same course code as mine......and is there any written rule yang cakap husband and wife tak leh pegi sama department...emmm ...no answer for this two questions

Eventhough I have tried my very best to explain..I can understand my situation..I am nobody..saya hanyalah seorang staff yang mempunyai impian untuk study, dgn harapan ilmu yang dapat tu dapat plak dishare ngan anak bangsa sendiri...that's all

That phone conversation lead me to think about the following issues:

1) I am not clever enough to rationalise the reason given to me.

2) What if my husband tu tak ada relationship ngan I..adakah betul course code yang sama masih jadi persoalan penting kat sini?

3) Sekiranya government allocate the scholarship to bangsa asing...adakah that bangsa asing yang dipertanggungjawabkan akan memberi beribu alasan...atau they will use the money and sponsored as many of their bangsa without making things so difficult. Maaf tak ada niat nak create any isu pekauman here but again I strongly feel I have to at least point out this scenario..

4) I was 19 or 20 when I did my first degree in UK...very young...I have experienced being sponsored by the government...but to tell the truth..during that time kami tak banyak menerima "pesanan"-"pesanan" about how lucky we were or how unlucky others (yang tak ditaja)...but I still remember how "kecut perut " we were and how we have to struggle to get our degree...even without "pesanan-pesanan" ..all of us (my batch) managed to get our degree and came back to give our service here...

5) Now bila dah tua... I percaya most of us or all of us punyai lebih rasa tanggungjawab...kita lebih faham and lebih pandai menilai erti penggunaan duit rakyat..At the same time, I can also understand doing PhD is not an easy task...rasanya I am crystal clear about the difficulties of getting PhD...and I am not an excellent student before...very average...that's why I cannot promise anything but the most I can say I will try my best..

and I also percaya semua pemegang biasiswa punya harapan yang sama ...get their PhD ...kalau ada yang gagal I strongly believe bukan itu yang diaorang plan or nak...so why should we blamed them...why not we look at the other side of it...may be they failed to get their PhD BUT I percaya proses pencarian ilmu itu tetap berlangsung and ada added value dalam diri setiap mereka...

6) and finally...pesanan orang tua tua (stated as the title) suddenly floating in my head...yang tak faham tu ...bole pegi tanya nenek nenek yang masih ada...or may be u can contact Karam Sigh Waria...he..he...

Nota: posting ni tidak berniat atau bermaksud untuk tunjuk pandai...or memburukkan sesiapa...just that I feel down and I rasa I need to express what's in my head and heart..thats all!

which is which...

It seems quite a long time since I did my last posting to this blog. Actually, I am feeling down, depress and confuse. Confuse with everything around me, depress with everyone's action and feeling down with the unsolved situation.

o.k where to start my Hindi story...lets begin with the offer of scholarship. We were offered to do our PhD in NZ. Immediately after knowing this result we e-mailed our CV and research proposals to all (8) universities in NZ. Then we knew that only 3 universities provide expert in our area of studies. Out of these 3, one dah penuh la plak(supervisor dah ramai student)....we then proceed with formal applications to the other two universities. However, till today we still didn't get any offer letter not even "conditional" offer letter from these two universities.

At the same time, we were given the cut off date (23rd May) to at least submit "conditional offer letter" to our sponsors. We have e-mailed and phoned the two universities and persuade them to speed up the application process. The responds were not promising at all. They said,the normal process will take at least 6 months..(now dah 4 months ) meaning we have to wait another 2 months before we can get any letter from them or may be if we were from the Bolkiah family the respond wil be different!..he..he..(by the way, I don't understand lamanya NZ nak process..I got my unconditional offer letter from Essex Uni kat UK after 2 weeks sending my research proposal to them..malangnya teman idak le dapat scholar ke UK..he..he)

Since both of us already got unconditional offer letters from Australia..we then proceed with the appeal to change our placement..instead of going to NZ we appeal to go to Australia. Verbally, we were informed that they have agreed to send us to Australia. But till now, we haven't received any black and white regarding this matter. Without the confirmation letter , the financial guarantee letter will not be given to us. Therefore, we cannot send our "acceptance of offer" to the Australian University. In short, without the confirmation letter , nothing can be done . Based on the unconditional offer letter, the registration date is in July...(2 bulan lagi Beb!!)..and of course, a lot more to settle...

Since our story is similar to the Hindi movie.. Alaa....the familiar storyline..where the handsome hero from the rich family falls in love with the pretty but poor lady..both of them will be forced to go through the hardness before the can get married and live hapily ever after...so I really hope our ending will be exactly like the Hindi movie.."happy ending"..

As for now , my doa is that "muga Allah bukakan and permudahkan jalan bagi kami sekeluarga" Amin.....

he..he.. pening baca this posting?...I yang nulis ni pun pening...lagikan org yang membaca..he..he

Broken Heart...

Oooops...don't get me wrong..the title above will not lead you to any love story. it is about an "unsangkarable" incident happened to me lately. Actually, I would like to write about this earlier but then decided not to write till I can control my anger..waaa..suddenly I sound very emotional...he..he..

Once upon a time..during my school days..there was a guy who really hate me . Reason(s) for the hatred?...sorry - never resolved till now. My only logical answer is his biological system does not suit mine ...so there was no "chemistry" between us...but again ..it was a long..long..time ago..

Recently...he accused me with something that I did not mean to be and the horrible part is he used the very very very very rude word! The point is whatever I have written in the "posting" was my way of having fun with my close friends and definitely he is not in the list! If he misinterpreted it may be due to the differeence in our wavelength. Again as an educated and matured adult he should learn to accept opinion from others..

Many has indirectly pointed out his "beyond border" attitute..but again ..knowing him...all effort become worthless....

Well..to that "special" guy I hereby officially announced that your name has been deleted from my database!!!

The Result..

My husband and I have received our IELTS results...he he...as predicted both of us managed to get band 6.5. The postmortem of the result:

1) Agreed 120% with KA..we did not practice ...pinjam kata kata budak AF6 "redah je..."how could we get a good result...but at least I am better than my other half in the sense that at least I know the format of the test earlier than him...he asked me about the format a night before the test...lagi blurrrr....he..he...

2) Our level of English is getting worse......we managed to get better result during our A-level time..may be it is a sign of an old age..he..he

So need more practice for the second attempt!